| Author | Message | ||
| Emusing
Intermediate Member Username: emusing Post Number: 1163 Registered: 08-2003 |
You can buy your future cheaply in a steel gauge box. Choose your color, Kentucky Rose in a metal brush orchid. An outfit to go with that pink crepe interior? A little 18 gauge if you please! Those lids seductively opened, pillows plumped for that loooong eternal nap. Yawn....sinners are you ready? Choosing a casket is a very personal and important decision. Families should choose a casket based on their own preferences and the personality of their loved one. How about a classy Continental? Gunmetal grey with an adjustable bed? Just in case you feel like reading a little Dickinson: Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me- The carriage held but just Ourselves and Immortality. Just point and click, you are one stop shopping cart away from a very secure online future and a real bedside bargain. Remember.... “THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS” No exchanges, no returns. *http://www.costco.com/Common/Search.aspx?whse=&topnav=&search=caskets A friend told me about this today and enthusiastically showed me coffin choices on line. I couldn't resist a poem. | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Advanced Member Username: garyb Post Number: 3780 Registered: 07-2001 |
E, I'm going to shout WONDERFUL. SIS, GET THIS ON THE SHORT LIST. I have a friend who wrote and Ode to Costco. I will mail it to you. I published it in the June 2003 hood but it is not cached on google. And I would like to send this one to her. Thanks. Gary Time to read FireWeed. Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ to get to the issue in a couple of clicks | ||
| Emusing
Intermediate Member Username: emusing Post Number: 1166 Registered: 08-2003 |
Thanks much Gar! Loved Sharon's Ode! I've revised this a bit more to smooth out some phrasing. Changes in S1 and 6. Caskets at Costco You future lies securely in a steel gauge box. Choose your color, Kentucky Rose in a metal brush orchid. An outfit to go with that pink crepe interior? A little 18 gauge if you please! Those lids seductively opened, pillows plumped for that loooong eternal nap. Yawn....sinners are you ready? Choosing a casket is a very personal and important decision. Families should choose a casket based on their own preferences and the personality of their loved one. How about a classy Continental? Gunmetal grey with an adjustable bed? Just in case you feel like reading a little Dickinson: Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me- The carriage held but just Ourselves and Immortality. Just point and click, you are one stop shopping cart away from a real bedside bargain. Remember.... “THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC OR OTHER EVIDENCE THAT ANY CASKET WITH A SEALING DEVICE WILL PRESERVE HUMAN REMAINS” No exchanges, no returns. *http://www.costco.com/Common/Search.aspx?whse=&topnav=&search=caskets | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Advanced Member Username: garyb Post Number: 3785 Registered: 07-2001 |
No exchanges, no returns. Not even the same deal you get for computers? Used coffins on E-bay: Evacuation extra, using local labor prices. Smiles. Gary Time to read FireWeed. Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ to get to the issue in a couple of clicks | ||
| Christopher T George
Valued Member Username: chrisgeorge Post Number: 995 Registered: 12-2004 |
Hi E This is perfect! Great satire! Get it published! Chris Editor, Desert Moon Review http://www.desertmoonreview.com/ http://chrisgeorge.netpublish.net/ http://www.actorssceneunseen.com/ripper.asp | ||
| M
Moderator Username: mjm Post Number: 3011 Registered: 11-1998 |
This one's priceless, E. Had me chuckling and shaking my head at the same time. Caskets at warehouse stores. Gee, wouldn't that make a nice Christmas gift? There is no dignity left to anything, is there? *sigh* The addition of the quote from Emily was excellent. That's one of my favorite passages of hers. Good to see it used here in this way. I'm sure she would have been appalled. BTW -- did they have any cremation urns? *LOL* | ||
| Jim Doss
Intermediate Member Username: jimdoss Post Number: 1636 Registered: 12-2003 |
The good old capitalists will sell anything if there is a dollar to be made. Maybe they are appealing to the vampire crowd? Goodness knows, I've seen enough TV shows over the past 6 months depicting that as an up and coming thing. A nice piece of satire here. Jim Learning to Talk Again is now available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1411625552, or http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?isbn=1411625552. | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Intermediate Member Username: kathy Post Number: 1917 Registered: 12-2003 |
E, a fun read. Perfect ending (no pun intended)! Commercialism sure takes the empathy out of people.  K | ||
| Emusing
Intermediate Member Username: emusing Post Number: 1168 Registered: 08-2003 |
Gar, there's no returning from the bargain basement. Chris, thank you! Where should I send? I don't write much in the way of satire. M I couldn't believe it when my friend summoned me over to his computer and said, "you've got to see this." It came up when a friend of his mentioned that one side of the family wanted a burial and the other side a cremation. So he bought the cheapo casket at Costco to please the family and then had her cremated and put in an urn in secret according to her wishes. Such a fuss about bones but I understand there are religious consequences. Jim no kidding. And Costco will find a way to sell something enmass. Pretty soon "weddings in a box" or perhaps "funerals in five minutes." Kathy, thanks for the read. Ha ha perfect ending. Smiles to you all, E | ||
| E V Brooks
Intermediate Member Username: lia Post Number: 1058 Registered: 12-2003 |
This made me chuckle. Fine writing E! love the Dickinson quote. Gee.. death's very complicated and very expensive!! but.. do they come with a sea view? lia | ||
| Emusing
Intermediate Member Username: emusing Post Number: 1175 Registered: 08-2003 |
Thanks L, I wasn't sure if you knew what CostCo was, kind of an American thing. The link explains it all. Do they have an equivalent in England? E | ||
| marty
Valued Member Username: marty Post Number: 534 Registered: 10-2003 |
Personally, I wouldnt care if my remains would be wrapped in a straw mat and thrown in the pasig river....on second thought, I might do just that to slam the marketing concept of a totally useless contraption. I dont think i could care less if daisies spring from my grave, but to spend for a casket? Ah....would you like to know how our mountain province tribesmen do their burial? Might consider a poem or two, and yes, no one has ever been online up there hahahaha. For a very thought provoking piece, thank you. Cheers Brethren | ||
| Emusing
Intermediate Member Username: emusing Post Number: 1178 Registered: 08-2003 |
Yes I'd love to know....a poem if you please! KS E | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Advanced Member Username: garyb Post Number: 3882 Registered: 07-2001 |
E - http://www.britishdirectory.co.uk/k/Shops/costco/costco_uk.html gets you where they are Gar Time to read FireWeed. Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ to get to the issue in a couple of clicks | ||
| Laurie Byro
Valued Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 973 Registered: 11-2003 |
OH this is difficult to read though, I mean I hate the thought of death, it's so final. I mean I don't mind dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens. EW gallows humour laurie | ||
| LJ Cohen
Moderator Username: ljc Post Number: 2349 Registered: 07-2002 |
E--this is the first poem I read after being away. It is priceless! Very well done. The tone, the woven bits, the closing line. You nailed this one. (pun intended!) ljc |
